Things I’ll never say
Thank you to all of the comments in my previous post. Cutting the graduation celebration short, my dad suffered from a heart attack (or so we were told by the doctors), and passed away on the night of 22nd May 2007, just after Isyak. It came as a surprise to all of us, especially his wife and daughters. It was said that if he wasn’t recuperating from the surgery in April, he could’ve made it. But it was simply his time.
I have never experienced a loss before, and to experience losing someone so close to you, your own father.. it’s.. surreal.
I am so sorry for not texting everyone, but I tried to. And sorry for not being here to those who came in the morning, especially Ka Zian, her mother, Ka Ety, Ka Najwa and Syazwana. To those who can’t come, but tried to, it’s okay. I just needed to tell people that there’s something going on.
To those who had notified others through text, or through their blogs (namely Amani, War, Ness, Tiq, Maurina, Atul, Amy Heidi, Dhil, Di), thank you so much. There were a lot of people who came in between everything, and I can’t name you all, but thank you so much for coming. Thank you everyone for your prayers, it means a whole lot.
I just can’t believe my dad is not here anymore.
The day he passed away was the hardest, because he was feeling really energetic in the last few hours of his life. He cooked my sister and I something to eat while waiting for my mom to get back from work.. He was doing the laundry, folding our clothes, and vacuuming rooms he can easily access.. Basically, he was doing the chores my sister and I were supposed to be doing. Instead, we watched TV. He was watching with us, but at the same time, he did all these things.
He did everything he couldn’t do in the span of the three weeks he was recovering from surgery and the accident. I was happy to see him so well. I didn’t expect to see him take his last breath in the hospital emergency. I didn’t expect anything.
I still cry every now and then, because it is only two days since he’s gone, but I try not to because it physically hurts me and I will throw up if I’m not careful. The night when he passed away, I had a horrendous headache and threw up four times in the span of less than five hours and I didn’t even eat anything, so you can imagine the pain of having to vomit nothing.
The day he was buried, which was yesterday, was a little okay for my physical health, but it was very, very hard for me, mentally. Having to see him, lying there, kissing his cheeks and forehead.. It was really, really hard.
I didn’t want to share all of this with the world wide web, but I feel that if I do, I’ll feel much, much better. As if a load has been taken off my shoulders. And hopefully, when people read this, you’ll recite the al-Fatihah for my late dad, or at least you will wish him well. His name was Hj. Md. Daud bin Hj. Abd. Hamid. Please keep him in your prayers.
Thank you.
This entry was posted on Thursday, May 24th, 2007 at 12:59PM and is filed under Family, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
1:03PM on May 24th, 2007
*hugs* :,( Rest assured, he will be in my prayers.
1:31PM on May 24th, 2007
Tins, I’m so sorry to hear about ur dad.. My condolences to you and your family. stay strong! I’m sure your dad will be up there, looking over all of you. May he rest in peace
1:49PM on May 24th, 2007
HUGS
2:26PM on May 24th, 2007
*big hugs*
Tina, I’ve lost my aunt just last week, and even now it seems surreal to me.
I hope you keep it in your heart and mind to be strong. If not for yourself, then for your mum and siblings.
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. *hugs*
2:42PM on May 24th, 2007
Tina, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure everyone who reads this post will recite the al-fatihah and say a prayer for your father *hugs*
2:54PM on May 24th, 2007
That’s quite a shock to me. I found out from War’s site, just after seeing the picture of you and your proud parents. He looked content seeing his daughter graduating. I’m sure he was proud of what you have achieved.
3:50PM on May 24th, 2007
Tins *hugstight* I’ll always be here for you if you need anything.
4:22PM on May 24th, 2007
hang in there babe. banyak2 fatihah. anything call me.
4:48PM on May 24th, 2007
So sorry for your loss… *hugs*
5:07PM on May 24th, 2007
Inalillahiwainalillahirajiun
Ka Et & family ikut mendo’akan & bersedekah al-fatihah. All blessings to you & family.
Take care loff and bawa banyak2 besabar, be strong and seek for strength from the al-mighty and remember you can always find warmth & support from your loving family and friends.
We love you. See you around.
5:12PM on May 24th, 2007
Inalillahiwainalillahirajiun
I’m sorry to hear about your dad Tina. semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang orang yang beriman. Al Fatihah.
be strong and hang in there yeah babe. hugs.
Love, Sher
6:57PM on May 24th, 2007
my condolences tina. mudahan your dad diampunkan dosa dosanya dan dimasukkan juga kedalam syurga dengan keredhaan Allah SWT. amin.
7:21PM on May 24th, 2007
hang in there babe. love u.
7:23PM on May 24th, 2007
*hugs*
Be strong, Tina. Inalillah.
7:46PM on May 24th, 2007
In case you need anything, we’re all here for you.
8:05PM on May 24th, 2007
Condolences, Tina. My father passed away over two years ago, and it still feels surreal. But you’ll learn to move on, insyallah. With family and loved ones around, it won’t be that bad. Be strong, and you’ll pull through. (:
8:16PM on May 24th, 2007
Inalillahiwainalillahirajiun,
So sorry for your loss, Al Fatihah.
8:26PM on May 24th, 2007
My condolences to you and ur family Tina…I’m still really shocked over the news…Be strong gal, hugz..
8:58PM on May 24th, 2007
I got your text when I was going back to sleep after fajr. I thought it was a dream.
Kali I woke up and check my phone, it wasn’t. And I was overwhelm by sadness. I cried reading your post…to lose someone you love suddenly is not easy to assimilate.
Berat lagi bahu memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul.
We shall pray for your father, huns. Semoga Allah meringankan siksaan kubur, semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosanya di dunya, semoga Allah memberi rahmat kepadanya, semoga Allahyarham di bangkitkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman, semoga Allahyarham di jadikan ahli syurga, semoga junjungan kita akan memberi syafaatnya di akhirah kelak.
And we shall also pray that Allah will grant you patience and strengthen your deen in overcoming this test of His.
Ameen.
Al-Fatihah.
9:07PM on May 24th, 2007
hi tina… take care ok… *hugs*
9:28PM on May 24th, 2007
Tina,
Sorry for your loss. I hope that everyone in your family is doing as best as they possibly can in this difficult time.
9:44PM on May 24th, 2007
Inalillahi Wainnalilahi Rajiun. Sorry for your loss, Tina. Hang in there. Insya Allah, Allah will guide you and your family during this difficult time.
11:10PM on May 24th, 2007
semoga roh nya di cucuri rahmat, amin ya rabalalamin.
hang on there Tinz, be strong babe.
11:57PM on May 24th, 2007
Our condolences to you and family for your loss. Take good care. Warm regards, The GoodEggs xx
4:33AM on May 25th, 2007
Hang in there hun. Just let me know if u need anything. We girls will always be with you. Sabar and sedekahkan saja Al-fathihah banyak-banyak. Mudah2an rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin. *hugs*
12:39PM on May 25th, 2007
Ka Tins, I’m very sorry. Be strong, I know it’s hard. Banyakkan doa. And take care. Hugs* love u.
1:24PM on May 25th, 2007
Innalillahi Wainna Ilaihirajiun. Sorry for you loss Tina. Be strong. Semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat selalu. Amin. *hugz* - Erah
3:34PM on May 25th, 2007
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Raji’un
Sorry for your loss, Tina. I read abt it from Amieheidi’s and then Ness’ blog. It just felt surreal coz you had posted that pic of you and your parents.
No words can alleviate the pain you must be going thru. I guess all I can say is to pray for him in your dua and we will keep him in our prayers too.
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.
5:25PM on May 25th, 2007
Hey.. Just wanted to offer my condolences to you and your family on your loss. Al-Fatihah.
6:59PM on May 25th, 2007
Im sorry, just heard about it yesterday..
Inalillahiwainnalilahirajiun… Condolences to you and your family tina… Semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat and ditempatkan dengan orang orang yang iman… amin.. al-fatihah.. Take care..
7:35PM on May 25th, 2007
Tina… My Condolences to you and your family. I know how you feel; losing someone very close to you. Be strong… *hugz*
7:41PM on May 25th, 2007
Al-fatihah.
stay strong dear, our prayers are with him..
*hugs*
8:07PM on May 25th, 2007
Al-fatihah..
Tina, im really really sorry to hear about your dad. just hang in there alright. Take care.
hugss
8:25PM on May 25th, 2007
Innalillahhi Wainnalillahhi Raji’un. my condolences,tina. *hugs*
10:14PM on May 25th, 2007
ka tins, i just found out. im so sorry! i hope everything’s going well now. i recited the al-fatihah. im so sorry. stay strong okay. *big hugs* if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to reach me. *hugs*
11:13PM on May 25th, 2007
*HugS*
Be strong Tina..
I wanted to give you a big hug…but afraid i was the one yang breakdown. and make a scene. Im not really good at sumthing like that. =)
Mwahxx..
Always be in my prayers..I wish you good luck..
*Hugs again* hehe..nda cukup..
12:00AM on May 26th, 2007
Inalillahi Wainnalilahi Rajiun. Al-Fatihah. Condolences to your family. He will be in our prayers. Be strong.
11:16AM on May 26th, 2007
Tinz, u hang in there and take very good care of urself and ur fam as well. U be strong k?
*hugs*
12:12PM on May 26th, 2007
Inalillah.
My deepest condolences.
Be strong.
4:40PM on May 26th, 2007
Innalillahhi Wainnalillahhi Raji’un.
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Semoga roh Allahyarham dicucuri rahmat dan dimasukkan ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang beriman, beramal soleh dan ahli2 Syurga.
Amin, Amin, Amin Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin.
Al Fatihah.
2:44AM on May 27th, 2007
Innalillah and condolences, Tina.
7:18PM on June 9th, 2007
Ohmygod where have I been? I’m so sorry to hear.
My condolences to you and your family Tina. Your post was very sincere and heartfelt, and it brought back memories and emotions of the passing of my uncle from two years ago, so I’m sure it must have been really hard for you. Good to hear you’re doing ok from your more recent posts. 
Take care. xxx
8:37PM on June 9th, 2007
Thanks so much, Hazirah. It was hard, but it’s getting to be one of the things that I have to get used to.. and just move on.
1:50AM on June 22nd, 2007
My sincerest condolences for you and your family. Life and death is part of everyone’s journey.
Take care of your family and yourself. Life goes on.
Al-Fatihah.
4:51PM on June 22nd, 2007
Thank you, David. I really appreciate it.