Happy birthday, bapa.
I don’t know what day of the week it is, but I know it’s my dad’s birthday today. My late dad’s. I have to get used to that. People around me have been mentioning “Allahyarham” before mentioning him, but I just call him “bapa”, like I always do. My sister? She never mentions him ever since the night he passed.
I’m hanging on all right. Some say better than I should be. Others have seen me bawl my eyes out, so they know I’m normal in a way or another. 
Been visiting his resting place everyday now, except for yesterday when I had a temperature and a colossal headache. It hit hard today.
When I sat down to recite the surah Yassin as his gift for this year, I could smell his scent after 10 minutes of doing so. Tears were welling up in my eyes, and I couldn’t imagine living life without him. The past three days were okay with the help of our other family members, but they’ve got their own lives to lead some time soon, so it’s only going to be the three of us now.
I’d like to thank everyone who left a comment, and I’m going to reply them when I have more spare time, yea? Thanks.
xx.
This entry was posted on Saturday, May 26th, 2007 at 4:35PM and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
2:15AM on May 27th, 2007
Your ‘late’ father is probably smiling at the wonderful gift. Plus not to mention that you didn’t forget this auspicious date.
I can only imagine how difficult and tough it may be for you and your family. It will never be easy from here onwards but unfortunately, that’s how life is.
Thank you Tina for blogging and more importantly, letting us know how things are going with you.
9:01PM on May 27th, 2007
You’re so blessed with such a good dad, he whom you love and respect.
I wish mine is like that too..
9:51PM on May 27th, 2007
Tina dear.. i know all this is easier said than done, but do stay strong ya.. always remember our prayers are with him n your family..
*hugs*
sza
4:24AM on May 28th, 2007
hi tina, i just read about your late father from atul’s blog *HUGS* stay strong, take care now sweetie xoxoxoxo
ps: congratulations on your graduation =)
8:33AM on May 28th, 2007
I still call my dad “bapa” regardless of what other ppl call him, we’ve so used to calling him dat since we were babies lagi… So, call him whatever u like.. coz he alway be yr dad.. kan nangis ku baca blog mu ni tina.. time fotoshoot ysterday, i’ve never seen u that quiet… Bawa byk2 membaca k, coz thats the only thing we can give him…
1:53AM on May 29th, 2007
Yea..Me too want to cry..makes me realize cherish everything. Bawa byk2 berdoa..Nway heard about Syikah mother also. Too much to handle..
8:43PM on May 29th, 2007
Tina.. i know exactly how u feel. my mom passed away last year.. and aku pun sampai ani nda biasa panggil “allahyarhamah”.. i dunno y perhaps because i can still feel that shes still here with us. Hang in there Tina… *hugs* my prayers will always be with him and your family.
9:18AM on May 30th, 2007
*hugs* babe…. and i will sedekah al-fatihah to your dad as his gift as well. may he rest in peace *amin*
1:21PM on May 30th, 2007
Glad that you can talk about how you feel here. Just keep hanging on, girl. You’ll be fine. *hugs*