MY7THLIFE.NET

There are a couple of shows that I don’t want to do in August for one reason: I have no ideas what interesting things to put out to my faceless audience, as I tend to drone on and on and get really boring when I’m talking on my own.

That’s as far as I can comment about work at the moment. It’s been a bit too boring to write about. Uneventful. Pah.

However, something great happened today. I was just checking up on my bank account, just to see (hopefully wishing, more like) that July pay would be out. I know it was hopeless, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that instead of my B$20 that I could withdraw has now gone up to B$160! I have no idea where the money came from, because my July pay is considerably more than that, but I am happy!

I have an inkling on who (read: not mom) had put the money there.. But then again, maybe it was for the number of roadshows I did in the past. Maybe? I still don’t know where it came from. I’m planning on getting my bank book updated tomorrow, and hope it will put me out of my misery which is really just sheer joy mixed with curiosity.

Oh, did you know that I am now a nocturnal being now, getting three to four hours of sleep per day? Did ya? Huh? Did ya?

Yea. Well. It’s making me much more of a grouch now. Still bubbly and a little bit chirpy, but grumpy chirpy. LOL.

I went to watch The Simpsons Movie with the extended family today. My judgment on the movie might be influenced by the fact that I was watching with five kids, and only a few grown-ups, but, IT WAS HELLA FUNNY.

(Don’t worry, there are no spoilers in this post.)

I was never a big fan of The Simpsons series, neither was Liz’s mummy, but the movie was just so funny, I couldn’t stop laughing. What was weird was during the first few minutes, when the cat and the mouse was fighting (I’m sure they have important names), a couple of people were laughing out loud. Is it some sort of funny thing that was always funny in the series? I didn’t get it. They were laughing as if they were enjoying themselves, when there wasn’t much joy to revel yourself in. Weird.

Didn’t beat Transformers, but if you’re up for a very good laugh, watch the movie. I enjoyed the night immensely, albeit the fact that two of my cousins weren’t talking to each other. Nyeh.

(To Miss Amalina yang disayangi: Bah, balik sudah ni, bila lagi jalan?!)

Justin is (getting) married! Congratulations!

I’m thinking he’s already done the whole nikah thing. So, yea.

Congratulations (again)!

Haven’t got any brilliant ideas for the honeymoon spot, though. I say: Thailand! (After reading Atul’s post on Let’s Sea Resort.)

It’s funny. I’ve got three plans in my life at the moment. Plan A, B, and C. When plan A fails, I’d go to B. If plan B fails, well.. you get how it works.

Thing is, plan B has failed, and plan A hasn’t even gone forward yet! Hahaha.

Plan B, just to shed some light onto the matter, was continuing studies at UBD. This miss here texted me — after a long day at my cousin’s nikah, hantar berian, and berbedak mandi — and she asked me if I had my name up for the new intake. So I went to UBD administration board to check it out. My name wasn’t listed. I am now not a part of the new BSc. Computer Science intake. (Lists can be found here, in .PDF formats.)

Surprisingly, I am not disappointed. I guess my heart wasn’t in the whole spend another four years trying to get my degree thing. I was into three years, but anyway. Like I was saying, I’m not at all disappointed. I’ve got plan C to fall onto, and that’s looking great at the moment.

Plan A? I have no idea what’s going on with that, but I’m thinking I should let it go.

I always thought I’d wanted to study after I graduated, but.. circumstances change, and my feelings on certain matters have changed. Let’s just see what the future holds for me.

But I know, in that future, I want to get a Volkswagen Touareg, no matter what people say. LOL.

I am in love with that piece of metal they call a car! There was one parked in from of my aunt’s house earlier on, which was supposed to be the groom’s ride to the bride’s homestead, but something happened. LOL. But I want a VW Touareg! If anyone were to stop giving me birthday presents for 30 years, but buy me that car now, I won’t mind. Really!

Hehehe.

P.S.: The previous post, about me getting all worked up, is now a private post. Sorry, War.

I just settled at home, after a great sushi lunch with Zawanah and future Biology teacher, Miss Yusrina.

She was looking great, after graduating, and missing home very much. I have to say, she’s one of my favourite close friends. She goes off to the UK, and comes back as the same old Yusrina, but she has grown a lot along the way as well. She doesn’t let anything change her, and she appreciates her friends. And I love that about her.

And did we ever have fun during lunch. We had lots of laughter without even realizing it. I was talking about this guy that I was aggravated about, and we discussed about how he was a psychologist. Since he had mentioned “stupids”, we came up with, “Maybe he is psychos.” You know, dealing with other people’s problems and everything? Never mind. It was meant to be a private joke anyway.

Oh, it was so much fun. I feel so euphoric, just like the little girl with her huge glass of orange juice.

I miss having such laughs. With sincere, genuine friends. It feels like the years in STPRI again. Has it really been six years ago? We talked about who were going to get married next! It was a scary thought, but we turned it into a funny subject.

Greatest lunch I’ve had in ages!

I’m still alive! After a grueling weekend, I made it alive.

Fine, it wasn’t grueling, it was just a bit too long for my liking.

I was at Izzah’s for a little baking session on Saturday afternoon, joined by Amani and Amni. Had a great laugh, especially on having crushes. Hahahaha. I thought that was hilarious. Left early, since I had to pick my sister up from school, and my mom from work. (This reminds me. Zah, I didn’t get to eat the muffins, my family vacuumed them all! LOL.)

After I picked my sister and my mom up, I picked a copy of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows that I had deposited B$20 after I watched the fifth movie. I delayed the reservation because I told myself that I didn’t need to reserve a copy, because after the fifth and sixth book, I reckon the seventh book will be in abundance by the time it arrives in Brunei. But I didn’t take my chances. LOL.

So I picked it up, and my mom brought us somewhere to have a drink, and I started reading there and then. It was a shocker to read that the book got straight down to business. (More on Harry Potter later.)

I had work at 9 that night, and only finish at midnight, so there goes my opportunity to finish the book the same day it came out (I’m weirdly obsessed that way.) I had a good show, nonetheless. It was new. Saturday’s Nite Tune on Pilihan FM is no longer called The Lounge, it is Technologic. All about tech and gadgets, and we had to find a new name. And it suited well! The show went fabulously great, and I had copious amounts of fun. (Please don’t comment on my selection of adjectives early this morning. LOL.)

I bet the closing sounded weird, though, because my bladder had chosen the wrong time to go for a bathroom break. I will make up for it on the next show.

So when I drove home after midnight, I changed, and straightaway pried open Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows once again. I was on chapter 23 when I realized that it was already 6AM! And I had a show to do at 11AM! The horror of having to put the book down! But I knew I had to have a little sleep. I tell you, after what I’ve gone through on Saturday, three hours of sleep was simply not enough.

So I went to work, at 10AM, because I thought the road closures for the get-together ceremony in Bandar in conjunction with His Majesty’s 61st birthday anniversary celebration would be very difficult to get around. I got to the studio in time, with 30 minutes to spare, so I opened my book once again. I swear, it was a very gripping read. I have to say that this seventh, and final, book is my most favourite. I thought, by the time I finished the book, I would still prefer Prisoner of Azkaban, but no.. This last book was the best I’ve read.

WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD! (Work, by the way, was uneventful.) Read the rest of this entry »

I really like this song. It’s the typical Avril Lavigne ballad, but I like the piano bits in it.

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

- When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne

I miss my dad this week more than ever. I walked into my parents’ walk-in closet today to get a tudong, and I could smell his scent. I don’t know if my mind was in the process of remembering my dad that I had accidentally trigger the memory of the smell, but it was there. It’s the smell that was always around every time he returned home from his Friday prayers. My dad was not one to use perfume that contains alcohol. I had tears in my eyes, but I rubbed them off, and read for him al-Fatihah instead.

When my dad was discharged from the hospital, after his surgery, he and my mom had opted to sleep downstairs, in the guest room because my dad had trouble walking, let alone going up the stairs to the master bedroom. My mom still sleeps there to this day, I think she doesn’t want to leave yet, just how she’s not packing up his things from his side of the closet.

Anyway. The other day, I continued to have my daily lie-ins, by moving myself from the bedroom, to the guest room downstairs. My mom and sister were just about to leave to work and school, so they left the air-con on for me. When I woke up, it was bright as day, and I had looked to my left.

When my dad was still alive, and when he was still recovering from his surgery, he would rest a lot, so he would be on my left. There was once this one time, — it’s still fresh in my mind — he awoke from his nap, and I was just lying there, with the cover up to my nose because it was too cold for me, and I waved at him, and said hi. He smiled and said hi back.

That was what came into my head when I looked to my left. That particular memory.. was too hard for me to handle, so I rolled onto my right side, as if I didn’t want to remember the little details. As if that particular move would prove effective.

He was such a vibrant character, and everyone had loved him so, it’s unbelievable.

Usually, when football season was on, he would usually invite his favourite nephews over to watch Manchester United play against another team. He would buy them their favourite food, that particularly unhealthy one, I’ve been told: nasi katok. These cousins of mine would occasionally mention that the house seemed so quiet without him, and there was this one time where they had asked me to buy the nasi katok that their uncle used to love buying for them, because it was just the best thing that they’ve had.

My dad.. bapa, as I call him.. his English is not so good, but speaks it anyway. In the past, I would be a tad embarrassed, but now, I miss him saying the silliest things. Like when we climb into the car, before he drives off, he would recite the du’a, and he would ask, “All aboard?” and his pronunciation would be very off with the latter word. And we would say in an annoyed, yet adoring, “Yes.”

I miss the way he would sit with us while we watch a movie, and he would say, “I’ve already watched this, and I know how it ends. This is a boring movie, let’s watch something else.” We would then ask what happens in the end, and he would always say, “Entah ah, bapa inda ingat.” Translation: “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”

He was a strong man, too. I have never see him in pain, except for the time when he had the accident in Seria. I cried, seeing him in such pain. I was okay, when I heard my dad had an accident, I prayed to God that he would be all right, and I stayed calm. However, I broke down when I saw him on the hospital bed.

I was happy again when he recovered well. Then, God gave me the biggest trial I’ve ever faced. We lost him 40 days after he was involved in the accident.

Al-Fatihah.

As promised, I’m following According To Size’s footsteps, and decide to post up Colbie Caillat’s songs. I have found a file hosting service, so yeay me!

The first one up is Bubbly.

The next one is The Little Things.

And here is Realize.

I could have sworn there was another track in my hard drive. Erh. Anyway. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but Roxie and I think she’s the female version of an acoustic John Mayer. And she’s good at throwing all my troubles out the window. Her songs are very soothing, reminds me of Missy Higgins, really. Without the accent every now and then. Hee.

As an added bonus, here’s Plain White T’s with their song, Hey There Delilah. (I’ve listened to a number of their other tracks, and I can’t say I’m their biggest fan yet. I’m a big fan of the song, though.) The line on my header up there is from this song.

On a totally unrelated note, I was about to tell the girls (of GB) that I was up for dinner, but I received this in my inbox.

from: amy heidi
date : Jul 18, 2007 1:41 PM
subject : [Girlytime] Re: Lunch or Dinner at the new restaurant at the mall

Due to the limited numbers, the dinner tonight is hereby postponed.

New suggested date: 20th or 22nd July, Friday or Sunday.

Oh, poo. Should’ve taken the offer of replacing Izan’s or Ruzanna’s 829 tonight. LOL. Never mind. (Sorry, though!)

I feel drained. I haven’t been doing much, yet I strangely feel so.

Went to the movies with more than a dozen people today, and it was so much fun. We booked the tickets on Friday, and this afternoon, we went for our movie outing. Some of us have watched the movie more than once, and only a few have never watched it. I don’t really think I need to mention the name of the movie, I might make people sick of the thought itself. Haha.

I just can’t believe that I’m exhausted now. After reading the tahlil for my dad after I’ve done my Maghrib prayer, I dozed off on the living room floor, right on my praying mat. Funny thing was, I kept my head on the place where I sujud so that it wouldn’t seem so stupid of me to put my feet on the spot. It’s something that comes naturally to me. Where your head goes, isn’t supposed to be where your feet go. And vice versa.

I sidetrack all the time, don’t worry.

Anyway. I finished reading Cecelia Ahern’s P.S., I Love You. It really wasn’t my cup of tea. I had finished reading this two weeks after I had started. I love chick-lit, but I don’t know, I don’t think any other author could beat Sophie Kinsella’s books when it comes to this genre. Or maybe I’m more into the lighthearted content.

I could relate so much with Holly Kennedy, the book’s main character, but it shows just how much Islam is such a beautiful religion. As Pablo once mention in his post, the tahlil and the recitations of the surah Yassin is so good for the soul. I believe that Allah has helped me so much through this, by the people He has surrounded me with and the new ones He introduced me to. They are people who believe so much in Him.

When I was reading P.S., I Love You, I was disappointed in Holly. I wished she could pick herself up halfway through the book, but then I think to myself that I can’t expect others to be as strong as I am, or for those who are stronger than I am, I can’t expect them to be more vulnerable.

If I hadn’t gone through the death of my beloved dad, maybe I would have loved this book. Maybe my heart would go out for this character. Because I know not how it feels to go through such thing. But now, especially when she said that her late husband, Gerry, was too young to die, I just couldn’t accept that. Your time is up, when your time is up, you may be 5, or 50, it does not matter.

But that’s what I’m talking about. Islam is a beautiful thing. It teaches us how to move on, how to accept that we will all return to Him one day.

Ness once posted about — and it goes something like this, because I remembered it like so — that if Allah decides you are strong enough to go through a situation, thus He gives you that situation, because he knows you can get through it. I’ve come to terms with that now. And I wish Holly Kennedy was a real person so I would stop thinking too much about this. Haha.

Anyway! I had spotted Ahern’s other book, If You Could See Me Now, a paperback, on Liz’s bedroom. The cover looks real pretty, and I was reading random pages on the book, and asked Liz, “Is she in love with an alien?” She said she didn’t know, then I asked, “Oh, don’t tell me, she’s in love with a ghost?” Liz said maybe.

Maybe I’m weird, yes? But I do like the cover. Makes you feel like walking barefoot in a field full of flowers. Only, the thorns of some unknown growth might poke the soles of my feet, which, in the end, might ruin the great, euphoric feeling that the picture seems to show. Pfft. Book covers. Always misleading.

I will post Colbie Caillat’s songs in the next entry. And maybe slip in a Plain White T’s song. Stay tuned.

Who? My boyfriend, of course. That’s why this post is password-protected, he wouldn’t want himself to be shared with the public. Because that’s what I’m about to do: share.

I would really love to tell the whole world on how in love I am with him. I might scare away half of my readers, but I don’t mind, since I am so in love with this guy, and this makes me feel like I have everything.

We are in a long-distance relationship. For more than six years now, which includes this “off” period we had for a year or so. I’ve been with him a long time, really. I have now understood things concerning him in the past that I had not.

In the past, I had loved falling in love with him so deeply, that I’m so scared that when I fall into this hallow that is love, I would, sooner or later, land on hard ground and not fall in love anymore. I was wrong. I fall in love with him every time I hear his voice. I fall in love with him every time he misses me. I fall in love with him every day.

And I love that.

These days, there is nothing new to find out about each other, but we find the old things very amusing and we often share laughs. We laugh at the silliest things, as if we had gotten married and had children, and now just growing old with each other. I suppose we have grown with each other.. and I love the thought of that. I love growing up with someone, and with him, I have done so much.

We both have our flaws, we are, after all, human, but I love him for his flaws, and for hiding them just to impress me. With our flaws, we teach each other how to live. With my dad’s recent death, he has helped me a lot. A lot more than anyone else had. He was there for me without feeling awkward about me talking about my dad. He had let me cry, he asked me to cry, just to relieve myself from all that pent up sadness.

We talk every night, except when he’s not feeling well and when I can’t make it online on time. And tonight, I miss him so.