Awake early on a Sunday morning, all because of a stupid nightmare. Been having nightmares for a while now, it’s bugging me not in a way that it scares me, but it wakes me up from sleep! Sometimes when I wake, I can’t go back to sleep, and that bugs me a lot. I value my sleep a lot, OK?

Anyway, I’ve been having a few people adding me on Facebook, and they are the people who at some point shared the same school with me, but would never add them even though they were in the same school as I was. I just don’t know you well enough! Same class, sure, but not even recognizing me as someone you know in the hallway? That just doesn’t add up.

That silly little rant aside, I’m making my way to Jakarta tomorrow for a few days’ worth of training. Last week, before it was approved, I was excited up until a few hours after it was approved, but when I got home yesterday, I felt like I was too tired to go to Jakarta. Macam nada mood.

I have found that I hate to pack, because sometimes I just don’t know what to bring, and I don’t like making lists especially when my lazy mode kicks in.

I just need to sleep it off. I am exhausted, still, I think.

Via I Can Has Cheezburger.

Awwww.

So sweet.

Macam boyfriendku. Heehee.

Anyhow. I’ve been posting other things on my blog these days. It’s either I have been too lazy to blog about my usual nonsense, or I’m too busy watching DVDs in my room. Aiseh. I can finally be one of the priviledged people who have a TV in their rooms. This sounds sad, but let me let you know, that all my life, I wasn’t allowed to have a TV of any sort in my room. It’s OK for me to have a laptop that plays DVDs and surf the Internet, but not a television.

My mom always thought that if I always had a TV in my room, I wouldn’t go down for meals. Seriously, though, with my mom’s ability to get you downstairs no matter what, it wouldn’t have been a problem. I guess she just insists that we stick to the plan. Until recently.

It’s great. I used to turn on the radio when the room gets really quiet. Now, I just either put Astro on or pop in a Project Runway DVD. And now, all I need is a good sofa to watch my TV. Izzah thinks I need a Wii, but that will have to come some other time. I need my sofa!

What I’m also loving about the new TV is that I get to watch movies and Will & Grace with the boyfriend. Who says you can’t rock a long-distance relationship? LOL.

Anyway, I’ve been having Italian for sungkai three times alone this week. I had a folded pizza at Fratini’s on Wednesday with Mumtaz and boyfriend, Zainul, who had treated me to a good meal and a great laugh. Then I went to Capers on Friday with my CIS20 friends. Just yesterday, I went to Villa Mauri with Izzah. I think, by far, Villa Mauri served the best food and had the best servers. It was my first time there, and I am very, very impressed.

I just wasn’t pleased with the loud lady girl (she does not merit the word lady) on the next table. She doesn’t even get the hint we had given her. Maybe Izzah and I weren’t loud enough. We gather that they were a table of bloggers. She was that loud, OK? We couldn’t help but overhear. Nyeh.

I’m going to go back to my dose of Project Runway now. More updates soon.

I don’t know about you, but back when I was growing up, when you need a favour from someone I was taught to make things easier for them. So easy, that all that there is left to do is the favour you asked from them. Not ask more and burden them.

I am not one to be pissed about granting favours and not being ikhlas, but please. To those who ask favours from me, make it easier or at least, the very least you can do, don’t make it any more difficult. Thanks.

Entah ah, macam kanak-kanak sekarang ani nada adab bah.

Where has the time gone? In a few blinks and snaps, we’ll be sailing through the second half of 2008. Gahd. That made me sound like I’m talking about football. But I guess it’s easier to see it that way.

How has my first half gone so far? Meh. Could be better, but way better than how 2007 was. I never really talked about why it was the worst year of my life, did I? Well, minus the obvious death of a loved one, d’oh. Then again, I guess that particular event influenced the rest of my year. Troubles, problems, pain, and sadness all try to squish into my life at once. What could be handled by my usual self was tearing me down.

People tried to bring me down for the sake of career. People tried to understand where I’m coming from, which annoyed me. Especially when they think they’ve got you all figured out. And it’s funny how people just can’t stop talking about my dad when all I wish for was for them to stop talking about him.

Life tip: When someone’s loved one passes away, try not to talk about them. Instead, divert their attention to something else. It will work wonders.

Why am I talking about the past?? Urgh. 2007 was so last year. Pun intended.

Anyway. The boyfriend’s off to overseas training for 3 whole weeks and I don’t know what to do. I’m very used to his company hours at a time every day, and with him gone.. I really am at a loss. I’ve been mentally planning on what I want to do while he’s away, and I think my only plan that will work is: stock up on the endorphins. I’m thinking two hours daily, five days a week. OK, maybe just an hour. (Hourly step aerobics can kill! Hahaha.)

I just remembered an incident a bit earlier on, right after my morning routine, I bumped into someone I knew. I smiled at her and wanted to say hi, but didn’t because she didn’t smile back. She pretended she didn’t see me! I was right in front of her. You know, I can’t believe people can still be the way we were when we were kids. Utterly unbelievable! The only thing I could do was roll my eyes and went into disbelief mode because she is so friendly. Was, I guess.

I’ll be off for now, I need to take my second shower, because I’m catching Wanted in a few hours.

I just came across a blog that preached about being positive, but in one of her other posts, she admitted to making fun of someone who was fat. Hypocrite.

Anyway. I haven’t been my endorphin addicted self for the past three days as I’ve been hit by the time of the month. Urgh. I’ve never had a bad case of it before. I feel fat, but I just found out the word ‘fat’ is supposed to be substituted with ‘bloated’ during this time. I really just feel heavy. I hope I can get back to the lifestyle I started six months ago and feel much, much better.

Endorphins. Mmm, chases your troubles away. Speaking like a true junkie. LOL!

I’m off for now.

I think yesterday was just not a great day for me. I had experienced my first leg cramp while I was climbing into my car on my way home. Note: my first leg cramp.

You know how footballers play on the field, and sometimes they have that look of hellish pain on their faces? I used to think they were being dramatic and wanted a free kick. Now, I beg to differ. IT HURTS MORE THAN IT LOOKS!! I was in my car for fifteen minutes, trying to not move myself and let my hands grab onto something like women in labour do.

Leg cramps. I don’t wish to have any more. I can still feel my calf muscle all sore this morning, and I had difficulty climbing the stairs to work. Ergh.

The title really says it all. I am utterly heartbroken. My car was hit today during lunch. At Giant, nonetheless.

I have to stand up for myself and say it wasn’t my fault. What was my fault is the fact that I didn’t have a chance to stand up for myself when I had to. I was scared, my mind was everywhere, I don’t even know if I was breathing easy. I was so sad to see my car with that dent.

Here’s what happened, and I’ll try to make it really easy to understand.

It was after lunch, and I had to send my sister back home so I could get back to the office. We climbed into the car, with our typical ritual of prayer and safety belts.

I put my car into reverse, released the brake pedal, and let the car ease out of the parking spot. I turned my head left and right to see if there are any cars, oncoming or otherwise, and I saw a car, opposite to where mine was, also reversing out of a parking spot. I stopped right there and then, and was shocked that the girl driving didn’t stop! I couldn’t avoid it by going forward (there wasn’t much to move, just a few inches anyway), so I sounded the horn, real long and hard.

She looked real shocked to see my car there, but she didn’t stop. Instead, there was suddenly a crunching sound, and my sister, who had lunch with me, exclaimed, “OH MY, GOD! KA! YOUR NEW CAR!” If the situation wasn’t so tragic and the crunching sound didn’t echo my breaking heart, I would have laughed at how she had said it.

I put the car into parking, and got out. I did not move the car at all. The girl, whom I had guessed was three years younger than me, was horrified. For a moment, I was scared she might run off! But she motioned her hand towards me, as if asking me to wait, and I felt relieved. What didn’t make me happy was that she parked her car back into the parking spot.

I wanted to call the police, I really did. Because the one thing that I was taught in driving school was that whatever accident, however minor, you had to call the police. I was shook up, so I called my mom instead. I couldn’t stand up for myself, as I felt I needed someone to back me up.

The girl finally got out of her car, and approached mine. She apologized. I didn’t, because it wasn’t my fault. And she looked guilty anyway. So I was hoping she could vouch for me when her policeman father came. Instead, her mother came and convinced everyone who came to my defense (and to her daughter’s a well) that it was both parties’ fault.

I knew, deep down, I should have called the police. I knew it. I just knew it. Fact is, I just didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t follow my instinct.

Now, I couldn’t claim insurance for $#!* I have to spend a lot, as the bumper is dented, and the taillight is broken.

I am just really sad that seeing that the girl who had hit my Mazda was my neighbour. My neighbour.

Ugh. I can’t even believe I’m playing this pathetic card. I’m out. For now.

(I’ll update with picture of my poor Mazda in a bit as soon as I can, because right now, I’m mentally put down by loads of things at the moment.)

I hate spam comments. If any of your comments get stuck in the spam list, I don’t think I have the patience to weed them out, because they come by the hundreds! I probably need a better spam filter, don’t I?

So anyway, the cupcakes I made the other day turned out great! Well, I cheated, but it was great still. Makes a good dessert after every meal, every day until it runs out. Fattening, but such a good guilty pleasure. Mom has asked to make another batch to be made available on Sweet Tooth for the weekend. So if you want a taste, do drop by. I’m selling them B$0.50 apiece.

I think what made it nice was the frosting. Before this, my mom has never liked the cupcakes that I had baked. She thinks they’re too sweet, or too chocolatey (in some chocolatey cases). This time around, she loves them! She actually feels like having one whenever I talk about making another batch.

I’m limiting myself to one cupcake per day, and that’s already a lot! I swear I’m not going to bake another batch for myself.

Moving on from cupcakes.. a friend told me about Chris Brown’s Forever, and that reminded me that I keep on wanting to post about this: ever since his and Jordin Sparks’ performance on American Idol 7 results show, I think I have a small crush on him. LOL.

I think my female cousins would say, “KETINGGALAN!!” Or something.

OK. Back to work.

I do not know what is up with the Internet connection these days. I mean, really. Loading my ‘Write Post’ page takes 10 whole minutes ending up with a wonky format. And last night, I couldn’t connect at all! Well, I could send an email off to somebody important, but that was all my browser could do.

I have tried switching my modem on and off, I even reset the darn thing, but nothing worked.

Mornings are great, though. Connection fabulous.

Evenings? Not so much. I HATE IT. Because it’s in the evening that I use the Internet the most. Actually, I spend four hours on the Internet in the evening alone.

Ha. OK, not really.

I’ve had a pretty busy week at work, but personally very productive!

I didn’t have a delicious Monday, though. LOL.

Wow. I never thought it could get worse. But it did. Not that it’s a bad thing, because it’s now easier for me to make my decision. And it’s a go.

Anyhoo. I have been hooked on Guitar Hero ever since my sister got herself a PlayStation 2. I’m planning on buying the guitar thingy and see if it’s easier to play with that or with the controllers.

I am in a not very pleasant mood at the moment. My mom just implied that I was fat, and she insisted that the dress that I bought a few months ago will not fit me.

My self-esteem just sky-rocketed.

I want to curl up in bed and hide from the world.