MY7THLIFE.NET

The title really says it all. I am utterly heartbroken. My car was hit today during lunch. At Giant, nonetheless.

I have to stand up for myself and say it wasn’t my fault. What was my fault is the fact that I didn’t have a chance to stand up for myself when I had to. I was scared, my mind was everywhere, I don’t even know if I was breathing easy. I was so sad to see my car with that dent.

Here’s what happened, and I’ll try to make it really easy to understand.

It was after lunch, and I had to send my sister back home so I could get back to the office. We climbed into the car, with our typical ritual of prayer and safety belts.

I put my car into reverse, released the brake pedal, and let the car ease out of the parking spot. I turned my head left and right to see if there are any cars, oncoming or otherwise, and I saw a car, opposite to where mine was, also reversing out of a parking spot. I stopped right there and then, and was shocked that the girl driving didn’t stop! I couldn’t avoid it by going forward (there wasn’t much to move, just a few inches anyway), so I sounded the horn, real long and hard.

She looked real shocked to see my car there, but she didn’t stop. Instead, there was suddenly a crunching sound, and my sister, who had lunch with me, exclaimed, “OH MY, GOD! KA! YOUR NEW CAR!” If the situation wasn’t so tragic and the crunching sound didn’t echo my breaking heart, I would have laughed at how she had said it.

I put the car into parking, and got out. I did not move the car at all. The girl, whom I had guessed was three years younger than me, was horrified. For a moment, I was scared she might run off! But she motioned her hand towards me, as if asking me to wait, and I felt relieved. What didn’t make me happy was that she parked her car back into the parking spot.

I wanted to call the police, I really did. Because the one thing that I was taught in driving school was that whatever accident, however minor, you had to call the police. I was shook up, so I called my mom instead. I couldn’t stand up for myself, as I felt I needed someone to back me up.

The girl finally got out of her car, and approached mine. She apologized. I didn’t, because it wasn’t my fault. And she looked guilty anyway. So I was hoping she could vouch for me when her policeman father came. Instead, her mother came and convinced everyone who came to my defense (and to her daughter’s a well) that it was both parties’ fault.

I knew, deep down, I should have called the police. I knew it. I just knew it. Fact is, I just didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t follow my instinct.

Now, I couldn’t claim insurance for $#!* I have to spend a lot, as the bumper is dented, and the taillight is broken.

I am just really sad that seeing that the girl who had hit my Mazda was my neighbour. My neighbour.

Ugh. I can’t even believe I’m playing this pathetic card. I’m out. For now.

(I’ll update with picture of my poor Mazda in a bit as soon as I can, because right now, I’m mentally put down by loads of things at the moment.)

You know, when you get really good news, the first person you want to share it with is the person you love the most? But what happens when you say, “Hey, I’ve got good news,” and they won’t even listen?

I feel like it is not so much great news now.

Sigh.

I think I have a new bad habit. Evil, more like. It started when I started working full-time. Every time it’s pay day, I would want to splurge on something. However, ever since I had to pay half of the salary that The Company pays me for my Mazda, I could get it under control.

What worries me is that now that my salary every month is reasonably higher with my new job, I’ve started looking at QQeStore.com to see how much the things in my wish list now cost. And I’m supposed to save B$500 per month. Gah.

Surely, it’s possible. Right? To save up?

I’m back from my Singapore trip, and an eventful one it has been. Since there were about n number of us, there were n-1 number of characters to handle. Nya orang Brunei, macam-macam ulah kan di liat!

I had a great time. Although, upon touching Brunei soil on Wednesday, I got sick. And I am still sick. So, pictures will have to wait.

Other than the trip, I managed to catch the finale of The Amazing Race Asia 2, (WARNING: SPOILER!) and I cannot believe Marc and Rovilson ended up THIRD!! I so wanted them to win, and they were leading pretty much all of the way. Sigh.

*YAWN*

I feel like I’ve got most rest today than the past three weeks. Thanks to the public holiday, I get to have a rest. Before I fly off to Singapore tomorrow morning. Which, I have to get up early for. Argh.

What’s ticking me off most is that, I HAVEN’T PACKED!

It’s, like, I have so many things to do before I start packing. For example, blog-hopping, replying to comments, writing up a post, cutting my nails, charging my phone battery, charging my digital camera battery, cleaning up my room, getting enough water intake so I don’t go hydrated in this hot, hot weather.

You know, many things.

I must stop procrastinating and jump ‘packing’ up the list. I have to do it now. Before my mom screams at me.

I miss my dad. This is going to be the first trip without him. And we went to his resting place this morning.. I feel a slight stab at where I thought I had gone numb.

Small hiatus, I’ll be posting again once I come back from my Singapore trip. Be safe.

For some odd reason, I am really tired today. I feel like I could doze off any minute. The odd reason being that I spent the whole day awake with no rest. Literally.

So to take my mind off sleeping right after a hearty Japanese meal I had with my girl friends, I have decided to post. Maybe about some random things in my life. See how interesting it’ll be to get a few reactions from the readers. (And I really mean a few since I think my reader count has dwindled based on the ever-so-popular, not to mention unique, blogs popping up here and there. What do I possibly have to offer? Hahaha. Self-deprecating much? )

Whoa. OK. Where do I start? Maybe I should begin with not being so specific.

I have encountered people who are bitchy in a subtle, but ‘makes you want to shout expletives’ way. I have forgotten how bitchy people are very, very annoying and how I have always put up with their crap because I’m nice — if I do say so myself. Every time they call me up and start being bitchy, when the call ends, I’d make faces to the phone. Every time they talk to me face-to-face and they start getting itchy with a capital B, I put on a blank face and when they turn around, I’ll make faces.

Childish, I know. But it feels ohh so good!

Annoying people aside, I’ve been spending loads of time on my own these days, giving myself breaks from the outside world and maybe just to get into the habit of reading again. I haven’t read in ages. The last time I read was a book borrowed off my cousin, a compilation of stories under the name Prom Nights From Hell. Or something close to that. But I’ve also been slowly going back to my old life, getting acquainted with the people who I used to be close to.. hanging out. It’s nice.

So my life’s in a balance in a moment, but I know that come March, it’s going to be topsy-turvy again. Why? Because I’ll be trying to settle in a new working environment. Yep. You’ve read it here first. (I don’t think you’ll read it anywhere else anyway!) I’m moving from The Company. I’ll be starting in March as an IT Administrator. Sounds like a load of work, right? Haha.

But I’m hoping I’ll make friends the way I have in The Company. I know I’ll miss them in very odd ways like how they always tease me to bits, but I’m looking for a different environment where I can really thrive. Got those words from someone I really appreciate and when she said that, I thought to myself, “Do I not know myself or do people perceive me differently?” Hopefully it’s the latter because I’d like to believe I know myself pretty well.

Haha. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Moving on.

I watched Sweeney Todd with a few of my cousins last night. I thought there was too much singing. I know, I know. It’s a musical, right? But it’s just a bit too much. Loved the storyline, though. One of my cousin thinks that I’ll love the old movie better. Mm. Speaking of cousins..

I’m flying off to Singapore next Friday. I’ll be flying off with another 20+ people who I love to call my family. LOL. Yes. There’s going to be more than 20 of us — I think more than 30 actually — some on different flights, but most of us will be on board the same plane on Friday, the 8th. That’s why my family and I are going to have a little doa selamat, because it’s three-quarter of the whole family! Haha.

It’s going to be fun. I’ll post up pictures, inshaAllah.

The thing that’s bothering me right now: I HAVEN’T PACKED! 

I want to pack now, but I’m too sleepy. I’ll just blog-hop. See you around soon.

*sobs* I am dizzy. I haven’t had dizzy bouts since ages, and I now remember why I don’t miss them. Had the first one in the office, and I thought I could handle it. Apparently, I couldn’t. Head myself to the clinic, got myself permission to stay at home and rest.

So I did. I knew I was going to get an interrogation from my mom, but I just took the time to get myself that rest I needed before lunch time rolled in. And I was right! The moment she got back, I assumed our maid just told her I had come home early, she burst into the room, and asked, “BANAR KAU PANING?”

I don’t know if you can roll your eyes mentally, but I definitely did. Because I didn’t have my eyes open and I sure didn’t feel like my eyes were rolling. Followed by her loud question, she switched on the bright lights and asked me a couple more. Loudly.

Not that I’m complaining, but really. You need to give someone a break. Especially when they’re dizzy. Having colossal headaches. And she kept on asking whether I’m having a headache (sakit kepala) or just dizzy (paning). I never really get the difference as I usually get both at the same time anyway, but she keeps on asking me the same questions over and over again. Or it’s possibly the result of my dizziness that everything she asks just multiplies itself.

In the end, she convinced me to have myself eat lunch consisting of rice, chicken and vegetables. Then, I find myself not wanting to lie back down because of the said meal.

And now I’m here. Dizzy as hell, but better since I swallowed the pill the doctor prescribed to me.

Planned on asking someone to watch a movie with me tonight, but I guess that plan is not going to work now. But. My family is a firm believer that laughter is the best medicine, so my mom’s going to take me out, and possibly take my mind off things. And maybe put in a laugh or two.

Ooh. Maybe I can try Beechams now.

I just remembered a funny dialogue that I shared with a friend during a fancy, albeit small, birthday party. It goes something like this:

Me: I feel fat.
Her: At least you’re pretty.

LOL. You just had to be there.

First time in my entire life, I have a serious resolution. But not for the Gregorian new year, but for the new 1429 Hijriah! I’m not going to share it. However, if I pull through, I will reveal by the time it’s 1430H!

Speaking of new year Hijriah — it’s on the 10th, by the way, The Company has decided to celebrate by having a little thanksgiving ceremony with a little kick: everyone dresses up the Arabian way. For specific teams, however, there’s going to be a different theme and it’s going to be based on a movie.

For two of the teams, including the one I am in, the movie is Lawrence of Arabia. Dilemma: I don’t know what to wear. I haven’t watched the movie before, and based on Google Image searches — which isn’t much to start with — aren’t most (or all) of the women in the movie belly-baring?

I have to ask the boyfriend on this. He should know. LOL.

I’m looking forward to the week to come, because I had a somewhat great, albeit a bit sleepy, Saturday and I can’t wait for the new week to start. I’ve got something new to try out tomorrow morning, hi-tea with CIS20 girls in the afternoon, and I have decided that I’m going to have an early night so I’ll have a delicious start to the Monday morning.

Doesn’t that sound really good?

It’s the ‘delicious’ that does it. Try it some time.

Anyway. I was just passing by the new (yet to be open) mall in Rimba, to get to Wesmart for some butter, and I marvelled at how colossal this shopping mall was. Is it true that there’s going to be a theme park inside, or is that just a rumour? Hopefully, there are going to be new shops instead of the ones I keep on seeing in the two other malls in Brunei.

I’m off for now. xx!

I don’t know why I even have a digital camera. I don’t even post pictures up these days, and I can’t remember when the last time I had uploaded pictures from my camera onto my laptop. I’ve got pictures, you see, on how I spent my first day of the Gregorian year. But I am too lazy.

My cousin’s son and daughter had a birthday party on the new year and it was just so much fun! They had bouncers, slides, games (with cool stationery for the kids, and Easi recharge cards for grown-ups as prizes — I won $20!), great food, live band, karaoke, and great company! There’s nothing like your family surrounding you, right? I just had a pang of longing for my dad’s presence. But it just feels numb now.

Anyway. Yes. I’m not working at The Studio anymore. If I were to reveal what happened in the place where unnecessary insanity/drama occurs every second of the day, it would be too controversial, and I may have to stab a few eyes to run away and get out of the country. That might have not made any sense, but it made more sense than tomatoes jumping out the window.

I’m delirious.

Nah. I’m just exhausted. I would really love some time to just sleep and not worry about waking up early the next day. No matter how many public holidays there are, the day just wouldn’t come.

I digress. I did sort of have a sad goodbye towards the end of my last show on the radio, though. The boyfriend was listening in, I usually tell him not to, but since it was my last.. why not. And he said the show had a sad vibe to it. Well, I was a little choked up when I said my long goodbye. HAHAHA. No. I did not cry. Please.

I’m glad that I no longer work there. At least by the end of my full-time working day, I wouldn’t have to worry about driving straight to RTB to continue working. It can get quite tiring. But I would like to wish my former colleagues who are still working at The Studio the best of luck. You will need it, especially after the change in show formats.

On another note, I have something great happening this weekend, but I need to stock up on my faith, and hope very hard that it will go great.

Oh, before I forget, I would also like to wish my former colleague at BAG Networks, dearest Nadd, who has left to grab bigger, and better opportunities elsewhere. (Who didn’t tell me this until today, the day she left!) But good luck, you! And let’s go for another thriller at the cinema next time and we’ll scream our heads off and then laugh at ourselves. You’re going to be missed!

I keep on opening and closing my tab on ‘Write Post’ on this blog’s dashboard. While the tab loads, I’m thinking, “I want to blog about it,” then, “No way, I’m too exhausted to even think about it right now,” and so I close the tab, and then, I get back to, “DAMN. I need to have an outlet!” and open it back. It goes ’round and ’round, until here I am. Finally decided to do something about it, with a very hungry stomach.

Yes, I am hungry. I am sort of on a hunger strike.

I miss my dad. I miss him being the mediator in this family. I miss him being the patient, tolerant one. I miss him and how he knows when to tell the right joke to get everyone laughing. If you must know, I am in sort of a quarrel with my mom. It was unintentional, I swear. This is the biggest quarrel that I’ve ever had with her ever since dad died. Somewhere along the line, I knew I could’ve stopped it before it got worse. I knew I should have talked about something light-hearted. Anything.

I am just really tired at the moment. Everyone is expecting so much of me.

And here I am, missing school, missing my friends, missing my best girl friends, missing my dad, missing everything I had in my old life. Not that I don’t appreciate what I have now, but I am just tired of missing things that I used to have, and people who I used to spend my days with.

I think I’m going to relax by watching Pushing Daisies now. And take deep breathers in between.